IndiaIntimacy

Lockdown visions

  India
Kolkata, India-June 2020. One night goes, another comes and I remain in this darkness.

I see deaths. Here, there and everywhere. There is no sleep but thoughts-one after the other racing all over my being. One night goes, another comes and I remain in this darkness. The city is sleeping-cold like death. They don’t know what they are doing. They don’t know how they are doing. But they are doing-somehow. They have forgotten the times when they sucked the life out of the blissful free sky.

Now, I live alone. I see a dead lizard being eaten up by ants. I will end up like this too-futile-nothing to be proud of. I look towards the tulsi plant for hope-It’s leafless-I frown. I walk to and fro talking to myself for hours. I talk about the days when I used to roam freely and had dreams as beautiful as the scent of a flower. Now, as time passes, my mind gets filled with the nectar of loneliness. I crave for pleasure! My eye, skin, and soul seek lust. I look outside the window. I dream of those tender touches and those whisperings of bright noons. I melt like a child devoid of pleasure. My hungry soul fills its desire.

I lie down and sigh. I bloom like a rose and see a creature-fragile like me. It swims within me. My skull bursts like an eggshell giving birth to a universe. Bits and pieces of my skull create various constellations amidst this enchanting dark. I feel happy after all those rotten nights. And suddenly the creature dies. My eyes open. Horror! I see an empty land-a land where people used to laugh and be merry.

The land is eerily silent. I see someone going-Is that hope? There is no one to cry. The past has died. The future has died. Why is the present silent?

Kolkata, India-June 2020. The city is sleeping-cold like death.
Kolkata, India-June 2020.They have forgotten the times when they sucked the life out of the blissful free sky.
Kolkata, India-June 2020. I will end up like this too.
Kolkata, India-June 2020. I look towards the tulsi plant for hope-It’s leafless.
Kolkata, India-June 2020. I remember the days when I used to roam freely.
Kolkata, India-June 2020. I think about the nights when I had dreams as beautiful as the scent of a flower.
Kolkata, India-June 2020. My eye, skin, and soul seek lust.
Kolkata, India-June 2020. I bloom like a rose and see a creature-fragile like me
Kolkata, India-June 2020. And suddenly the creature dies!
Kolkata, India-June 2020. The land is eerily silent. I see someone going-Is that hope?

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Ayan Dawn

A resident of Kolkata, West Bengal, Ayan Dawn is currently pursuing B.A (Hons.) in English from Ramakrishna Mission Vidyamandira, Belurmath (Calcutta University). Ayan has… More »

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