A Lullaby of Life
by Ayan Dawn

It all feels good now. These wanderings, these touches, these ugly faces-these moments! Our kisses and souls are so young that it does not let each other think of tomorrow. Just madly mixed in each other’s sweat. So irresistible is today that it makes all the fine lines between love, lust and infatuation intertwine with each other.
Often we are tricked in this as love.
But it’s often not so.
Often these thoughts knock us but it’s the irresistible today that makes us deaf.
Days turn into months.
Months into years.
That irresistible today ages.
It becomes difficult to face the same faces.
It becomes difficult to fight at one moment and laugh at the very next. The skin and aroma of each other seems bitter.
But it also seems bitter to leave each other and live. Such is the “setup”.
And in this interesting setup we flock for new flesh and new smells. It feels like a fresh cold gush of wind. Something new! Something different. Something so pleasurable. And though the bitterness between us separates each other under the same roof, we, as individuals, start becoming content.
We consider this the best way not to violate the setup. We make peace with the fact that living together is a practice that has nothing to do with loving each other.
And decades pass. Our ways of individual contentment to sustain the “practice” change.
And it is always too late when we understand that maybe our ways of contentment could have been different. Maybe in this process of getting our individual pleasures we have scarred the person whom we loved the most.
And it is always too late to realise everything and cry our hearts out- but now it’s different.
We cry not as individuals but as partners we promised to be. The bitterness ends. Suddenly end seems irresistible!

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