According to statistics, about 20% of the population in Russia have an anxiety-depressive disorder, and the same percentage of the population – all the prerequisites for its development. The reasons are stress, changes in society, problems of Internet dependency and other factors.
Six years ago, I was diagnosed with the anxiety disorder, since then my condition has fluctuated from psychological pit to more or less stable. The disorder is very insidious, it constantly changes shape and is accompanied by a number of psychosomatic symptoms.
When I was in a psychiatric hospital last winter, the doctor advised me to concentrate on the irrationality of anxiety experienced by me and come up with an image that will help to avoid it. I visited so many doctors that it only caused sarcasm. But then I saw a blue dot in one of my dreams, a primitive form of my favorite color. In the dream, I was falling, but somehow miraculously landed on that dot, the dot ate me, and then spit back my new happy copy.
The project explores anxiety by the means of self-portraits, my body language and visual forms whereas small dot symbolizes an emergency exit from the state of panic, the result of the work of my will and consciousness. The present visual experience becomes a kind of sacred ritual, so important and unique for every human being – salvation, the source of strength.