Deja vu

© Tatyana Kolbatova

Deja vu

Window. Ship in the Atlantic Ocean, on the way to Antarctica, 1990

In this project, I combined photos from the family archive of my husband’s expeditions to Antarctica with pictures I took in Iceland, many years later, to show the state of déjà vu*, which I experienced.

When I found myself in Iceland, I understood why they are attracting to themselves and then do not let go of places like Antarctica. Iceland became for me a place of experience, which unexpectedly made me turn to traumatic memories.

The continent, the idea of ​​which for me consisted of the stories and letters of a loved one, the photographs brought by it and the play of my imagination, eventually took my husband, who was a polar  researcher and oceanologist, from me. After two wintering in a row, he returned home with undermined health and soon died.

This project is a reflection on the absence, but also an attempt to recover what I lost. The underlying expectation of the meeting and the resulting void from the understanding of its impossibility, involuntary replacement – the place, person. My desire to understand and accept the past, how it remains in my memory.

* déjà vua state accompanied by depersonalization: reality becomes vague and unclear, it forks and partly as if transferred to the past, the reality of the personality in the moment here and now is denied. It is believed that a possible cause of the phenomenon of deja vu can be a change in the way the time is encoded by the brain. At the same time, the process is easiest to present as simultaneous coding of information as “present” and “past” with simultaneous experience of these processes.

Husband. Antarctica, Bellingshausen station 1990

On this side. Iceland, July 2013

Rock fur seal. Antarctica, Bellingshausen station 1990

Aircraft. Antarctica, Bellingshausen station 1990

Ice like a face. Iceland, July 2013

Face mask. Antarctica, Bellingshausen station 1990

Memory. Iceland, July 2013

Mirage. Iceland, July 2013

Reality. Iceland, July 2013

Hold down. Russia, St. Petersburg, May 2013

Ice at the end. Iceland, July 2013

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Tatyana Kolbatova
Independent photographer. Lives and works in St.Peterburg, Russia.
Education • Higher: 1992 - Saint Petersburg State University, Department of Economics; 1975 -Saint Petersburg State University, Department of Physics.
Photographic Education • 2016-2019-A courses of E. Vasilieva; 2014−2016 – Educational program at Photodepartament foundation, (St. Petersburg): «Theory and Practice of the contemporary photography», «Overcoming the Photography», «Open relationship»; 2013−2017 – Educational Foundation St. Petersburg photographic workshops; 2011−2013 – Basic, then advanced photography course.
Participation in group exhibitions • 2019 – The Diary Of The Other; 2017 – The feeling at home (St. Peterburg); 2016 – When I appear. Curator vs photographer (St. Peterburg); 2016 – Present time happens (St. Petersburg); 2013 – The Kolomna (St. Petersburg); 2013 – Colour of the time (Petrozavodsk).
Books • “CITY' S AUTOBIOGRAPHY” (collective book, 2018).

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