Thoughts of Mortality, photo essay by Olessia Islamova
We live our lives as mortal creatures. We all know that there will be an end. Expected or unexpected. Although most of us don’t think of it frequently, there are special moments when you feel: your life as well as lives of all people you love is so fragile.
This feeling struck me at November, 1, 2015. A day before a plane from St. Petersburg (my home city) crushed in Egypt after a bomb explosion. It is thought as a terrorists struck. One may think, how can it be that distant tragedy can come through your brain and feelings as a fact of your personal history. But I know well – it can be so. When something happens we all can feel insecure.
I had a strong panic attack then, although I didn’t know any of victims personally I felt a deep grief and fear. I took my camera, went to the street and let my feelings go to the pictures. That wasn’t something I could speak to others of. But I felt a need at least to show.
I was in Peterhof those days. It is located in 20km from St. Petersburg. This town is well known by it’s regular park and fountains. But for it’s like home, because I spent here half of my childhood. For me this place is usually bright, full of air and water splashes, green trees, people crowds. But it was November. Low season. Peaceful time if not the news…
I came to park to walk for some hours. Everywhere I saw the signs of what happened in air above Sinai. They say, there was a crack at airplane’s back – A crack in stone I saw before me. An explosion – Birds, frightened by some unexpected noise fly away. Jet fell down from above to the Egypt ground – Stairs rolling down before me, as vertigo. I wasn’t able to stop thinking of all this people, my countrymen, adult, kids. Dead on the ground. As leaves… Not only for this day – for months after that I felt devastated.