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Jae Kwang Yang | Nightswimming – My Dear Grandmother…

[N]ightswimming starts from my first memory – the parting with my dear Nanny. I called her Grandma – I really believed she was my mother. This work documents what my childhood instilled in me.

Everybody has various stories about their childhood. I was a typical child of a two income family, so I went through mental chaos about my real parents because the nursemaid took care of me. So, I was utterly bereft when she left. At that time, I felt so sad and missed my lost mother very much. I am still waiting for her now. (I can’t remember her face anymore…) Waiting has become a habit. My first childhood memory is dim now. Like swimming in a night sea, nothing is seen. But I can feel something – the cold ocean, horror and movements of fish… Nightswimming is like my lie. I can feel many things that I can’t see. A long time ago, my childhood memories faded away. But what I felt at still remains. My body and mind react differently according to my childhood experiences. We never escape our childhood.

(Jae Kwang Yang | Nightswimming – My Dear Grandmother…, PRIVATE 52, pages 14-19)

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